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 Thema: Spassthread ( lachen kann so fun sein )
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
Wanda's dishwasher stoppped working so she called a repairman.
Since she had to go to work she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"
"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as Wanda had said, the dog lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.
Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
30.11.2007 8:58:05 Zum letzten Beitrag
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pesto

AUP pesto 05.02.2008
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
30.11.2007 9:02:42 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
I`m on my way... Augenzwinkern
30.11.2007 9:04:08 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the
Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
03.12.2007 7:45:12 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
03.12.2007 8:14:37 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife.
She says, "Well what was that for?"
He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!"
She doesn't reply and they start rocking again. All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.
He says, "Well what was that for?"
She says, "That's for knowing the difference!
05.12.2007 10:53:26 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Kaprado

Kaprado
sind englische Witze eigentlich spassiger als Deutsche?

http://yochitosway.de/?p=236
05.12.2007 17:54:28 Zum letzten Beitrag
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dantoX

dantoX
...
 
Zitat von Kaprado

sind englische Witze eigentlich spassiger als Deutsche?

http://yochitosway.de/?p=236



Was in anderen Foren Funthread heißt, ist hier der Spassthread und begnügt sich hauptsächlich mit englisch sprachigem Material.

dX
14.12.2007 11:47:08 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Kaprado

Kaprado
14.12.2007 23:01:35 Zum letzten Beitrag
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The_Demon_Duck_of_Doom

the_demon_duck_of_doom
 
Zitat von Kaprado

http://www.flensburg-online.de/grafik/atze-schroeder.jpg



Der Turbolader blies die Sinfonie der Vernichtung.
15.12.2007 0:20:53 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
Steel ist zurück
20.12.2007 19:52:01 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[DtS]theSameButcher

butcher
Was Roboter am Wochenende machen
30.12.2007 17:03:07 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Urza aus Rh

X-Mas Arctic
Ein Reim
Ich bin der Dichter Hildebrand
und stell mein Fahrrad an die MAUER.
31.01.2008 1:01:23 Zum letzten Beitrag
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f!refly

Russe BF
...
26.05.2008 14:43:21 Zum letzten Beitrag
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loliger_rofler

AUP loliger_rofler 21.12.2011
Amerikanische Wissenschaftler haben einen Supercomputer entwickelt, der angeblich alles wissen soll. Ein Kauf-Interessent möchte ihn natürlich vor dem Kauf testen und stellt eine Frage: "Wo ist mein Bruder zur Zeit?", will er vom Computer wissen.
Die Wissenschaftler geben die Frage ein und der Computer rechnet, dann zeigt er an: "Ihr Bruder sitzt in der Maschine LH474 nach Peking! Er will dort mit der Firma Osubushi einen Vertrag in Höhe von 2 Mio $ abschließen über die Lieferung von..."
Der Käufer war begeistert aber wollte noch einen Test haben und will wissen: "Wo ist mein Vater zur Zeit?"
Wieder rechnet der Computer und gibt an: "Ihr Vater sitzt am Mississippi und angelt!"
"Haa!" ruft der Käufer: "Wusste ichs doch, dass er nicht alles herausfinden kann! Mein Vater ist seit 5 Jahren tot!"
Die Wissenschaftler sind bestürzt, überlegen und geben dann die Frage noch mal zur Kontrolle ein.
Der Computer rechnet länger und gibt aus: "Tot ist der Gatte ihrer Mutter! Ihr Vater sitzt am Mississippi und angelt!"
26.05.2008 16:37:38 Zum letzten Beitrag
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DeathCobra

AUP DeathCobra 19.10.2009
 
Zitat von [DtS]theSameButcher

Was Roboter am Wochenende machen


ich hab die ganze zeit darauf gewaret, dass der roboter anfängt den kerl unaufhörlich gegen den boden zu kloppen.
[Dieser Beitrag wurde 1 mal editiert; zum letzten Mal von DeathCobra am 26.05.2008 19:35]
26.05.2008 19:31:16 Zum letzten Beitrag
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The_Demon_Duck_of_Doom

the_demon_duck_of_doom
...
 
Zitat von DeathCobra

 
Zitat von [DtS]theSameButcher

Was Roboter am Wochenende machen


ich hab die ganze zeit darauf gewaret, dass der roboter anfängt den kerl unaufhörlich gegen den boden zu kloppen.



Kann man in den Legoland-Parks auch selber machen peinlich/erstaunt
26.05.2008 19:57:41 Zum letzten Beitrag
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DeathCobra

AUP DeathCobra 19.10.2009
 
Zitat von The_Demon_Duck_of_Doom

 
Zitat von DeathCobra

 
Zitat von [DtS]theSameButcher

Was Roboter am Wochenende machen


ich hab die ganze zeit darauf gewaret, dass der roboter anfängt den kerl unaufhörlich gegen den boden zu kloppen.



Kann man in den Legoland-Parks auch selber machen peinlich/erstaunt


leute mit robotern kaputtkloppen?
26.05.2008 20:06:27 Zum letzten Beitrag
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The_Demon_Duck_of_Doom

the_demon_duck_of_doom
...
 
Zitat von DeathCobra

leute mit robotern kaputtkloppen?



Wenn du es schaffst, die Programmierung zu hacken - bestimmt!
26.05.2008 20:21:23 Zum letzten Beitrag
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[-FaCeOff-]

faceoff
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

The guy is completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN $200?"
26.05.2008 20:32:55 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Sabberlatz

AUP Sabberlatz 27.05.2008
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
27.05.2008 15:13:30 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Tabris

Arctic
...


Breites Grinsen
27.05.2008 16:56:40 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Cal .50 BMG

AUP Cal .50 BMG 23.11.2008
Das ist so genial:

27.05.2008 21:32:53 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Flatline

AUP Flatline 29.12.2007
 
To: Nintendo
Re: Game Design

Dear Nintendo,

I am writing to apply for the position of game designer with your company. We have a chance here to help children experience games that are more true to life than any game before them. Computer graphics have improved and improved and improved, and some day soon we're going to have to ask ourselves where we can go next in our search for realism.

We need virtual pet games where you clean and feed and love your furry little friend and that car still comes out of nowhere so smoothly, a god of aerodynamics and passenger safety. Where you hear your father's quiet joke that night, when he thinks you are asleep.

We need a new Mario game, where you rescue the princess in the first ten minutes, and for the rest of the game you try and push down that sick feeling in your stomach that she's "damaged goods", a concept detailed again and again in the profoundly sex negative instruction booklet, and when Luigi makes a crack about her and Bowser, you break his nose and immediately regret it. When Peach asks you, in the quiet of her mushroom castle bedroom "do you still love me?" you pretend to be asleep. You press the A button rhythmically, to control your breath, keep it even.

We need an airport simulator, where the planes carry your whole family from A to B, job to job, and dad still drinks in the shower and your older sister still has casual sex that she confides might bring back a feeling she's certain she didn't imagine. Where the plane touches down and you all lean forward in your seats because of inertia, and again and again someone says "I hate to fly".

Yours,

Joey Comeau

29.05.2008 15:41:24 Zum letzten Beitrag
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FuSL

AUP FuSL 06.06.2009
 
Zitat von Sabberlatz

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."




Ich weiß, Witze erklären ist doof.
Aber: Hä?
29.05.2008 16:45:55 Zum letzten Beitrag
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Rufus

AUP Rufus 12.02.2008
Auf Deutsch funktioniert er nicht. Das muss als Tip reichen.
29.05.2008 17:06:47 Zum letzten Beitrag
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PsYch0_D0c

AUP PsYch0_D0c 01.06.2009
logs=logarithmen?
adders=addierer?

wenn ich jetzt ahung von mathe haette...


Als Rotkäppchen durch den Wald schlendert, stürmt ein Wolf aus dem Gebüsch: „Rotkäppchen, ich muss dich fressen. Aber vorher hast du noch drei Wünsche frei.“ - Rotkäppchen: „Gut, lass uns ein Nümmerchen machen.“ - Gesagt, getan. – Danach sagt Rotkäppchen: „Mein zweiter Wunsch ist noch eine Nummer.“ - Wieder fügt sich der Wolf. - Jubelt Rotkäppchen: „So, und nun gleich noch ein drittes Mal!“ - Der Wolf ächzt, stöhnt und bricht mittendrin tot zusammen ... Als sich Rotkäppchen anzieht,tritt hinter einer Tanne der Förster hervor und hebt mahnend den Finger: „Rotkäppchen, Rotkäppchen, das war nun schon der vierte Wolf in diesem Monat!“
29.05.2008 17:44:59 Zum letzten Beitrag
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FuSL

AUP FuSL 06.06.2009
sowas hab ich mir gedacht, aber konnte nichts lustiges daraus extrahieren
29.05.2008 18:21:42 Zum letzten Beitrag
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f!refly

Russe BF
Jetzt ist Adidas sogar schon in Fluch der Karibik unterwegs...
29.05.2008 19:31:21 Zum letzten Beitrag
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legendary_hacki

AUP legendary_hacki 02.03.2010
...
I saw a lot of photoshops...
29.05.2008 19:35:35 Zum letzten Beitrag
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